Monday, June 13, 2005

Have you no mirrors in your house?

Today, I'm trying something a little different. Yes that's right, I am going underground to become an urban, guerilla cameraman. Have phonecam - will snap pics.

But what will you take pics of mr. mac? Well, I'm glad you asked. The answer is simple


and for those of you with even the slightest hint of irony, you'll see that I used "style" right next to the word Swiss.

As I travel to and from my office every day, my senses are assaulted by various crimes against nature. Nay, against God himself. The Swiss are the worst dressed people I've ever met. But the saddest thing of all is that they actually pay top dollar for the gear they stroll around in. It beggars belief!

So in order to interest and amuse my avid reader (not a typo) I would like to present to you the first in a series of bad outfits seen solange ich unterwegs bin / en route (French and German in one post - I'm like, SO continental).

This fetching number was seated opposite me on the bus. I concede that with skin that colour - she ain't Swiss but it's all in the spirit so for the purpose of the exercise, she's in Switzerland - 'nuff said, roight?

As you can see, the ensemble is actually lilac in colour with a fetching trim of purple and lilac in a geometric pattern. The observant amongst you will note that the band which ties her braided locks matches the trim. The judges award this outfit very high marks.

Now, let's see the competition -

Mmmm, socks and rip-zips (sandals with velcro fastening) - I'm all funny inside whenever I see this "style". As you can see (apologies for the blurry pic - phonecams aren't so great), he has teamed with that theme and added a jaunty little terry towelling headband. What an awesome display from the young man. The moustache, the daisies he painted on his camera body (I wish you could see them - they're worth the admission price alone), the powder blue long-sleeved t-shirt. It's a story and a total triumph!

Tune in next time to see what I manage to dig up whilst trawling the fetid underbelly that is urban Switzerland.

Bis Später, Tschüss

---End Transmission---


Anonymous said...

must feel good, concerning oneself with the clothing of other people, poorer people, different people.. people that maybe are stuck somewhere..
while travelling around the world, being upset about soiled shirts, buying this and buying that.. while mom has a bad hair day..
almost like homer and marge in the cartoon-series, not quite as ingenious..

not so respectful
underdog dancing with rip-zips

PSP Politics, Sports and Philosophy said...

Meiner Duetsch ist nicht so gut

I will practice before August, I promise

Most of my German is from remembering the Earlkonig by Von Geothe

Wir ridet so spat durch nacht und wind
es ist dir vater mit zeinem kind
Er helt den knaben wol in den armen
Er helt ihm zicker or something something und helf ihm warm...???

Anyway, the Swiss dress like the Germans.. like a bunch of hippie refugees on holiday.


Jon said...

Oh I love this idea! I am thinking I may like to steal it...

Am I the only person loving that lady's trousers?!

mr. mac said...

Hi Jonathan,

Oh please steal it...I would consider it a singular honour to have you steal something of mine. All of your recent thefts have become total triumphs! I see no reason to think that this will be different.

SilverB said...

Dear Anonymous

It feels excellent taking the piss out of the poor, let's face what else can one use the poor for?

Making fun of people who are different well the ugly should have plastic surgery and the sartorial challenged should employ a personnal shopper!

If one gets "stuck" in Switzerland then one is obvioulsy not only poor and different but unquestionably stupid as few road stop in Switzerland (why would they for God's sake) they go straight through so one can go somewhere interesting (most places except Belgium, Tasmina and Stewart Island are more interesting than Switzerland).

If one wears soiled clothes then one obvioulsy hasn't realised that picking up the phone and calling room service would deal with problem, again stupid.

Anon sweetie dancing in rip-zips is Très Gauche, try Manolo Blahniks not as exclusive as they once were but still acceptable.

I'm sending you this advice in a spirit of comtempt for someone to pig f***ing ignorant and cowardly to use there own name.

Now go have a shower, 'casue I'm pretty certain you stink as much as you attitude does.

Air Kisses darling (wouldn't want to touch you, although I might Fist you if you ask nicely)