Hello and welcome to the second installment of my continuing search for the worst dressed bit of eurotrash. If you cast your mind back, I first shocked you with the ghastly sights I saw on a, frankly, terrible day in Swiss fashion history. You can read it here if you're late to the party. If you get offended by someone making fun of others - look away now. That means you, underdog dancing in rip zips.
It seems that fashion disasters transcend national borders. The Swiss border patrol are ever vigilant in their search for people bringing too much milk back to Switzerland but they haven't done a thing to stop bad fashion mistakes spreading like an insidious cancer across Europe.
Yesterday, the target of my mission was Austria. Lovely place, friendly people and generally just fabulous. I understand the German spoken there a lot better too. We landed in the middle of the Feldkirch Gauklerfestival which was a lot of fun. For those who don't know, a Gaukler is a juggler or circus performer which explained all the street performers.
I was dropped in behind enemy lines and went straight to work. Within minutes, I was accosted by this pair of "hair styles". I concede that you may not have the money to buy nice clothes, but you don't have to pay for your hair. Although maybe these two should be made to pay for this.
Their faces have been obscured (by the backs of their heads) to protect my anonimity
Later, I stumbled across this travesty.
As if the crime of socks and velcro sandals isn't bad enough (and there was plenty of it on display here), we see here a man wearing a pair of Birkenstocks and white sport socks. As a way of drawing attention to this, he decided to turn his jeans into an unevenly cut-off pair of cut-offs, which was nice. This guy didn't have to pay for these shorts or the socks so what's his excuse.
To finish the mission, I found this fetching litle number, which was teamed with a super looking green t-shirt. I only wish that the shot showing his David Beckham-esque facial hair (circa 1999) was visible to you.
Could he be anymore orange? I also want to comment about the streaks. Is that trendy? Is it attractive? I am the first to admit that I am not exactly on the cutting edge of fashion technology but c'mon. Throw me a frickin' bone here.
That finishes my Austrian mission. Not sure where's next. Let's wait and see what Fashion HQ comes up with.