Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Bizarre Ravings of a Lonely Lunatic

With the delightful Ms. Mac currently in the Merry Old Land of Oz, I am watching buku* TV! This means that I am seeing plenty of saturation advertising. Why is it that the Sky channels all synchronise their ads for the same time. Channel hopping is totally pointless. This is a double whammy because I have finally wrested control of the Hopper** from Ms. Mac but I can't really do anything with it cos it's always ads!!!

Arrrrgghhh. Whilst channel hopping through endless ads and repeats of Will and Grace, Charmed and The Simpsons (honestly, you'd think they stopped making the show in 1994!!), I stumbled upon the latest Chanel ad. Have you seen it? Here is a memory jogger for you:

What a load of hot cock!!! The last time I saw anything this ridiculous it was that rubbishy Moulin Rouge. Imagine my surprise to be told by the celebrated brain box Ms. Mac that the ad was directed by Baz Luhrman. It just fits doesn't it?

--Chanel ad brainstorming session.--

Baz: I need to come up with something for the new Chanel campaign.
Assistant 1: Well Baz, you know that our Nic is the new spokeswoman for the brand.
Baz: I kknow, lets rehash that other load of old twaddle that had her in it. What did I call it?
Assistant 2: Ahh Moulin Rouge?
Baz: Yeah, is that guy from Star Wars available???
Assistant 3: Shouldn't you do something original Baz?
Baz: Nobody else does? Why should I? By the way Assistant 3, your toadying leaves much to be desired. Fetch me a Skinny Soy Lattecino and be quick about it!

--Scene--

Now don't get me wrong, this woman is very attractive.

But really, that script couldn't be saved by Gielgud, Hepburn or Fonda. It, and the ad it is part of are utter, utter bollocks!

If there is one of you that buys or switches to Chanel from this, I'd be exceptionally surprised. After all, I have nothing but respect for my reader and would be disappointed if you were moved by this one.

*Buku: Japanese style spelling of French word beacoup indicating muchness or a great quantity.

**Hopper - the device used for channel hopping. Obviously!

Once again this blog is both deprecating, hyper critical, demeaning and informative.

---End transmission---

7 comments:

Andi said...

The kids are getting to you aren't they?

But seriously.

I do not like Ms Kidman.

Never have.

Never will.

Thats all I have to say for fear of wanting to run headlong through a plate glass window just thinking about her.

But!!!!!!!!!! and there is a BUT. I like Baz Luhrman's work. Romeo and Juliet with LDC was awesome!

mr. mac said...

Andi, if I leave them with the telly for two minutes while I go and get a drink or something, they switch it to some crappy kids channel. Then all three of them whine and plead to watch it cos "we haven't seen this episode."

But I am fine thanks. Any suggestions of what to make for dinner?

Marilyn said...

We call the hopper the Clicker.
:-)

Andi said...

Oh I saw this ad for the first time last night and it WAS crap!

Mr Mac, you are fab!

Jon said...

I am going to overlook the fact that you moaned at the bestest film of all time... Moulin Rougie!

You are correct about this advert though, complete cack it is!

Expat Traveler said...

The advert wouldn't make me switch. Ads don't sway me anyhow. I go by what smells good and what I like and Chanel #5 is definitely not on my list of things to buy.

Michael said...

Apparently that necklace that is draped over her back was like $250,000 US